Becoming is

I came to a part in Matthew McConaughey’s new book, “Greenlights”, where he’s on an adventure of self discovery trekking through the Amazon when a life dilemma came to a head. He had just become a successful movie star and things were looking up, but some junk he had stored up in his soul had caused him to reach an impasse. He was feeling dejected and wasn’t a fan of the person he felt he was becoming. He reached the boiling point, but instead of imploding he hit the release valve which allowed him to internally clear the air, make peace with himself and restart. The result: it altered his perception 180 degrees. It freed him to view himself and life through a clear lens of gratefulness and optimism, without being haunted by the past or fearful of the future, and to be present to where he was, not where he felt he “should” be. I think that’s a universal dilemma we all face in discovering the people we’re becoming.

A while back I listened to a TED talk where the speaker talked about how our neurological pathways are like tire tracks in the mud. For example, when we choose to do a certain behavior, it’s like we’re driving a truck through the mud. As we go, we make tracks and if we continuously do the same thing over and over, a simple track turns into ruts. Over time it becomes a subconscious action to naturally drift into those tracks, behavior and thinking. It becomes programmed. In this case, the same goes with how we view the world and ourselves. We live in a world where status and possession are elevated above all. There is a constant striving that is insatiable. This is something i’ve wrestled out for years. Now don’t get me wrong, I think it’s good, necessary for us to push the limits to advance and grow and be the best versions of ourselves. Living life through a lens of being comfortable in your own skin, grateful for what you do possess and what you have already accomplished, shifts our life experience from feeling burdened, to feeling more clear, energized and free.

I wear a Whoop fitness monitor on my wrist. It biometrically tracks all my fitness, sleep, workouts, recovery etc. It also tracks your HRV (heart rate variability). A friend of mine mentioned how HRV is tied to your central nervous system and is affected by things like stress. Point being, I’ve noticed that when I’m in a healthy place, internally, my HRV levels are better. But when I’m stressed or thinking negatively about myself or the world, my HRV levels are junk. I add that to prove this idea isn’t just some hokey nonsense that’s designed to just make everyone feel good. If you know me, I’m a bit too blunt for all that. Science shows that being healthy internally is a major factor in our overall health. 

For better or worse, we’re constantly growing and changing. The theme of this blog, is to explore what it means to “become”. It is a circuitous journey. It’s a winding road of variables, experiences and influences. Becoming means embracing who we want to be and where we want to go. Becoming means responding to life and life responding back to us. Sometimes like buying sunglasses, we have to try on a few pairs to see which lens fits us best. So my challenge is for you to do the same. Spend some time investigating how you’re actually viewing yourself and life. Get brutally honest. You might not like a few of the things you see at first, but like in basketball, a little pivot can put you in a completely different direction. Above all, give yourself some grace. You might not be where you want to be, but you’re a far cry from where you once were. Rome wasn’t built in a day, and as one of my favorite authors, Bob Goff, says, “we’re all in a process of becoming”. Cheers